I can't help but feel like I'm being neglectful of my patrons. So this is for You!
As a man of the written word I am an abysmal failure.
I have been without the love of a woman for the past five years.
I live in the biggest shit hole in all of Michigan, Saginaw.
I have no lips and an under-bite, thus I'm the whitest guy my friends know!
I can get sunburn in the winter.
I'm sick two-hundred and fifteen day out of the year on average.
I have yet to win the lottery.
I can't help but think I am being a dick to people, Just because I'm hateful.
I have an unhealthy fascination on fire and explosive, and an equally unhealthy knowledge of chemistry.

I hope you liked this, and I will throw to gather some new ones soon.
J.D. out.